Ending of Harry Potter VII My Version Chapter 1

Salaam

Note: This is a fic. A "fic" is a fictional story about some real novel/movie.

The Ending of Harry Potter VII

Voldy is trying to make Neville Longbottom, Ginny Weasley and other dudes to shutup.

Voldy: Silencio!

Note: It isn't working because spells somehow don't exist in my version of Harry Potter.

All: Didn't work. Again.

Voldy: Aw, whom am I kidding? I'm like the self-proclaimed best sorcerer in the world! I'll just kill 'em! Avada Ka-

Longbottom (even though spells don't work): Noooooo!!!!!!

Voldy (confused) : Huh?

Longbottom: Don't kill us! Please! I beg of you! If you kill us then you will have to bear with the guilt for the rest of your life which won't be very long (we all know that)-

Voldy: Hey!

Longbottom: But we could join your army if you didn't kill us....

Voldy: Keep talkin', keep talkin'.

Harry Potter: No, saaayyyyyyyyyyyy!

Translation: No!

Voldy: Whoah! "Avada Kevadra" is a Llamite-a-fying-spell now? MY WORST ENEMY IS A LLAMITE? I AM THE HAPPIEST MAN ON EARTH! NO, THAT'S NOT ENOUGH. I AM THE HAPPIEST MAN IN THE UNIVERSE!!!

Note: A Llamite is someone who goes to Llama International School.

Harry Potter: Aivvvoooooooooootilllllllayyyyyy?

Translation: What?

Longbottom: Harry! Speak English again! Please!

Harry Potter: Ay-I-yammm-espikking-ennnglisha-onlay! Shutttttupillay! Plesssssssss!

Translation: I am speaking English. Shutup. Please.

All: ....

Harry Potter: Ai-vottt-eez-theeeeeeess? "..."? estuppppppidnissonlay!

Translation: What's this "..."? Stupidity!

Sephiroth: The Darkness! It has pulled me into this world..... Actually, I flew here-

Cloud: Yo Sephiroth! Weren't we in the middle of a fight? A legendary fight?

Sephiroth: Oh yeah! *they start fighting*

Voldy: That was incredibly disturbing...

Harry Potter: More idistarbinga thannna I vessiz Jack Bauer?

Translation: More disturbing than me vs. Jack Bauer?

Voldy: That is incredibly disturbing.

*silence*

Voldy: WHOAH!!!! IF JACK BAUER CAN BEAT YOU UP THEN I COULD HIRE HIM TO -DO JUST THAT!!! Hang on, I'll call him up...*takes out cell-phone*

Cloud: *fighting stops* WHOAH!!!! IS THAT THE IPHONE? I WANT ONE! WHERE'D YOU GET IT FROM? FOR HOW MUCH? TELL ME, MAN! MY LIFE DEPENDS ON THIS!!!

Voldy: Yeah----okay----be here fast---------yeah--bye *hangs up*.

*silence*

Jack Bauer drives up in a blue 'shining-to-the-last-spot' sedan.

Sephiroth: WHOAH!!!! IS THAT THE 2009 NISSAN ALTIMA? I WANT ONE! WHERE'D YOU GET IT FROM? FOR HOW MUCH? TELL ME, MAN! MY LIFE DEPENDS ON THIS!!!

Jack Bauer: PUT YOUR HANDS ON YOUR HEAD! GET ON YOUR KNEES! NOW!

Harry Potter: Ay-vvooooooooooooottttttttillayyyyyyy?

Translation: What?

Jack Bauer: YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO SHUTUP AND THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT AND THE RIGHT NOT TO TALK AND THE RIGHT TO OBEY ME AND THE ....

Cloud: Uh, Sephiroth? Am I the only one who thinks we should get back to our fight?

All: NO!!!

Cloud: Good. *starts fighting with Sephiroth again*

Harry Potter (who is now under arrest and somehow un-Llamite-afied): At least I get to ride the '09 Altima...

Sephiroth: *stops fighting* WHOAH!!! THANKS FOR REMINDING ME!! I WAS TOO BUSY FIGHTING THIS BABOON!!! HOW MUCH DOES IT COST??!!! WHAT ARE THE FEATURES??!! WHAT'S THE MPG??!!! TELL ME!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!

Jack Bauer: Go to Yahoo Autos, kid.

Cloud: WHOAH!!! SEPHIROTH'S CRAZE FOR THE '09 ALTIMA HAS REMINDED ME OF MY CRAZE FOR THE IPHONE!!! THE PRICE!!! THE COOL NEW GADGETS!!! IT'S ALL OVERWHELMING!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Note: I really really really REALLY apologize for all the Caps lock, but the characters in this fic are very emotional. Thank you.

Voldy: Get your own stinky info on your own stinky iPhone you stinky little-

Cloud: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! MY LIFE IS RUINED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sephiroth: Let's get on with the fight. At least it'll take your mind off the iPhone.

Voldy: Wait a second! If I don't see any castle-like school, no forest, no lake, and no stadium, then we're definitely not at Hoggywarts, so then, where are we?

Longbottom: It's a secret!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Voldy: TELL ME!!!!!!!!!! RIGHT NOW!!!!!! YOU'LL REGRET THIS!!!!!!!!!!!! I'LL LLAMITE-AFY YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! AVADA-

They are cut off by a Tarzan yell from somewhere in the sky and Darth Vader comes flying out of nowhere.

Tarzan: HEY!!!!!! THAT'S MY YELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Darth Vader: NO!!!!!!!!!! I AM THE ULTIMATE VILLAIN!!!!!!!!! NO ONE BEATS ME!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT EVEN VOLDYY!!!!!!!!!!!! AYYYYYYYYYOOOOOOAYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!

Just as he is inches away from slashing good ol' Voldy with his Lightsaber, GUESS WHAT HAPPENS. YOU'LL NEVER GUESS. THIS CHAPTER ACTUALLY COMES TO AN END!!!!

Will Cloud ever get the iPhone? Will Sephiroth ever get the Altima? Will Voldy ever figure out where he is? Will Neville Longbottom get Llamite-afied? Will Voldy get Lightsaberslash-afied? Is Darth Vader really the Ultimate Villian? Will Tarzan get his yell back? Will Harry Potter escape Jack Bauer? Am I asking too many questions? YOU HAVE TO WAIT TILL THE NEXT CHAPTER!!!! HAHA!!!!!!!!!!